More reflection.

As interesting as musing over my 2010 Practices to Enact was, I will now embark on another ‘list reflection’.  This one was a note on Facebook with the following instructions:
“Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.”

I wrote the original list of 25 random things in February 2009.  To provide some context, I was four months from college graduation (oops, I just told y’all my age), not yet in Lutheran Volunteer Corps, and uncertain as heck as to where I was going with my life, both in physical location and vocational path.  Original list is in italics, my comments today are in regular type.

1. I’ve been a vegetarian for nearly seven years. This means my body will soon stop producing enzymes to digest meat, which is simultaneously awesome and terrifying. However, I’ve thought about eating animals again occasionally to support local farmers. But only local and sustainable of course.
Still mostly a vegetarian, though I’ve become a lot less vehement, particularly when food with a minor amount of meat is served to me.  I also ate an entire hamburger the summer following this list creation while I was working out on sustainable farms in Western Minnesota.  It was both local and sustainable, and delicious to boot.

2. I’ve never been into sports, but watched this year’s Super Bowl with my parents because the Arizona Cardinals have been my dad’s favorite team for as long as I can remember.
This year I watched an entire quarter of a World Cup game and felt like my sports quota was exhausted for at least a couple of months.

3. I enjoy pieces of most subcultures, and have constantly found myself on the fringe of many things. Often these pieces don’t work together too well in common society. For example, I equally (but for completely different reasons) enjoy Elle, Wired, and Backpacker magazine.
Entirely true a year and a half later, maybe even more so with my ‘discovery’ (via my housemate Rachel from last year) of Google Reader.  See the final point of my September Beautiful Things post.

4. I start craft projects and don’t usually finish them.
I’m getting better I swear.  Mostly by doing simpler projects that don’t have such a concretely defined finishing point.

5. Sometimes I think my early high school self would be highly disdainful of many aspects of my present self, and vice versa.
This became even more apparent when I read through my journals of high school that my mother brought when she visited a couple of weeks ago.  High school self and present self would be acquaintances, maybe, and high school self would be relieved at calm gained and angry at zealousness lost.

6. I don’t believe in soulmates, but I’m a huge proponent of kindred spirits.
Still don’t believe in soulmates, but somehow the universe decided to bring me to a wonderful partner, man, and friend.

7. I want to spend a year living in a commune, from a tent, in a developing country, and with a group of native peoples. Probably not all at the same time though.
My big adventure goals have  changed quite a bit actually.  I would still do all of these things, but now I’m really excited about biking the length of the Mississippi River with Benjamin in the near-ish future.

8. I’ve been told that at school I come across as a youngest child, but at home I’m often the quintessential older sister. For no good reason I’d much rather be seen as an older sibling as opposed to a younger one.
Age has since become relatively irrelevant, at least in social situations.  Though when I do pay attention I notice that I am frequently the youngest person at a particular gathering these days.

9. I call many places home, and can find home nearly anywhere I go. While this lets me find joy and connection in a plethora of new situations, it also makes me REALLY bad at keeping up with people I’m not actually physically present with, apart from my family.
Yup.   But I did make a Facebook note a moment ago asking for people’s addresses so I can simultaneously have a reason to write regularly AND keep in touch with people.  Snap.  I’d like your address too, so please leave it in the comments.

10. I kind of want December 21st, 2012 to be an actual apocalypse.
Just so I can have an apocalypse party for three days.  Everyone’s invited!

11. I believe the holy is in the paradox, that when you discover two equally important but seemingly incompatible truths, you’re probably on to something. Live in the complications.
This one is illustrated regularly, by my passions and experiences and conversations and the frequent inability to reconcile it all.  Celebrate the paradox!

12. I think that people are essentially good, though not really in any religious sense. I want to be the kind of ‘good’ stranger that people can depend on so that my trust in humanity can be withheld when the situation presents itself.
Meeting strangers during my 14 months thus far living in the city has solidified this even further.  There are so many ‘isms’ that lead a person to act out of selfishness or another form of evil, and while personal responsibility does play an important part, a majority of pain, violence and oppression comes from systemic problems.  People, as individuals, have at least a core seed of goodness.

13. I value authenticity above all else, and expect it from everyone and myself most of all.
Yes.

14. Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier being a genius at one thing rather than mediocre to good at a number of things.
Genius and mediocrity factor nonwithstanding, having the ridiculous number of interests that I do has certainly started an uncountable number of conversations with wonderful people, some of whom have become good friends.


15. I am constantly in awe of how magnificent and complicated the world is, and how I managed to be an entity in it at this moment in time.
The change of the seasons amplifies this point- I am amazed at the pure outpouring of energy that happens on this planet, and the constant fluctuations, only a small percentage of which I am privy to.

16. I am obsessed with space. This includes any sort of movie set in space, Battlestar Galactica, and the NASA universe picture of the day.
So obsessed that I’m planning to see the new IMAX film on the Hubble telescope at the Science Museum this Friday.  For my birthday.

17. I’m working on becoming a better listener, to not wait in conversations for my turn to speak and not always feel the need to give advice. This is largely inspired by being blessed to have so many fantastic listener friends in my life.
I think this will always be a work in progress, and a particular challenge for me.  Though I am more blessed than ever to have great listeners for friends.

18. Lately I identify most with the idea of joy, though I’m not really sure I could define it for you if you asked.
This has persisted, to the point where joy feels like a core component of my being.  I can only hope that I give it back to the universe in even a fraction of the amount that I receive.

19. At this point in my life I can’t imagine settling because I am intrigued by so many places, people, vocations, and opportunities that I don’t want to commit to just one and risk forsaking the rest.
Of all the random facts in this list, this one has changed the most, and in fact was what inspired me to do this reflection.  Most importantly, settling no longer feels like a bad word.  I have found a place and a person that I want to be with for a very very long time, and while that means I will be putting down roots, it does not mean that I cannot still have adventures and throw myself into opportunities as they present themselves.

20. As much as I have moments of cynicism where it seems as though human beings are destroying everything that is good on this earth, ultimately I love humanity and don’t think I could ever completely leave it behind.
But this is definitely second in terms of most change.  I still love people- I see the good and the beauty in individuals daily and sometimes my soul aches at how wonderful human connection can be.  But I think the planet would be better off without us, really.  We selfishly consume resources far beyond the planet’s means without giving back in equal measure, or even attempting to do so most of the time.  Every species has its era, and it just might be time for ours to begin coming to a close.

21. Namaste is one of my favorite concepts; it means ‘my inner light acknowledges and bows to your inner light’.
Several times I have considered signing all of my emails with ‘namaste’, even the work ones, but thought it might be confusing/spiritually offensive to somebody.  But it’s still one of my favorite concepts, and I may get a tattoo related to it one day.

22. I hope to publish a book one day, and I’ve had several absurd ideas over the years as to what it might be about that have thankfully faded into various journals.
It will not be fiction, as evidenced by my slackings during NaNoWriMo.

23. My idea of what love is has changed quite immensely over the years, and I’m excited to see the depths it will reach as I continue to meet and know people and have new experiences.
Exponential changes to this day, and more to come I think.  Love is deep and wide and so multi-dimensional that trying to contain it to our physical universe seems a travesty.

24. I think my parents are the most fantastic parents that I could have had and I love them dearly, while I simultaneously see the root of several of my insecurities and frustrations toward the world in them.
This too deepens with time, as new points of conflict and convergence emerge.

25. I am constantly being reminded that nothing is permanent, that there is beauty everywhere, and that all is one.
There really is nothing to add to this one.  Namaste, all.

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